the-kindness-of-strangers

I had the opportunity to ring the bell for the Salvation Army this year.  In the past I have done as many of you have.  Pretended that “you gave at the office” or faked a call on your cell phone to avoid the deep, soul searching stare that is followed haunting “Merry Christmas”.  I’ve thought for years, there must be a better way to get money for needy people.

All of that changed this year when I picked up that bell.  I just knew I’d be looking at my watch the whole time and feeling mortified thinking that people would look at me strangely.  Actually, they did.  In just a small window of time, I met a woman that worked for 23 years as a nurse in the hospitals of New York’s Hells Kitchen.  She opened her wallet and her conversation with gratitude.  She explained that for those 23 years she always worked on Christmas Eve, because she couldn’t stand for those sick people to be there all alone.  Each year the Salvation Army brought gifts to those lonely people and she added that they never forgot to bring one for her too.  I couldn’t believe that this little red bucket and gold bell meant so much to someone.

Another man came and folded his bills up, careful not to show how much he was putting in.  He told me that the Salvation Army got him off the “sauce” years ago and he never misses an opportunity to give back.  He told me that he saves change for months leading up to Christmas just to make sure he always has some to share with the The Salvation Army.  Again, I was blown away.

An elderly lady came up to the bucket and said thank you to me.  I was floored.  I had given no money. I had only rung a small bell and stood in one spot.  I told her she was mistaken.  The hard work was putting the money in the bucket  not ringing a bell.  Her words were, “You don’t know how much power that little bell has, young man”.  I guess I didn’t, but it was just a bell right.  She then reminded me I hadn’t had a Christmas that  I could remember not hearing the bell of the Salvation Army and what it would mean if there wasn’t one.
As for thinking this was not a great way to raise money, I kept a tally as best I could just to see.  In one hour I had collected right around a hundred bucks.  Sure, there were people that didn’t give, but now I was thinking that maybe they gave at the last place the saw someone ringing the bell.  There were a lot more people that did give.

The last person I had the pleasure of meeting came up to the red kettle and dropped in his contribution.  I offered a “Thank You”.  He took it and exchanged it for one of my most favorite sayings. “Young man,” he said, “The only thing evil needs to flourish is for good men to do nothing, keep up the good work.”  I wanted to cry.  I felt terrible for all of those years of ignoring the bell ringing.  There I was, my mouth wanting to come unhinged and fall open.  All I could say was, Merry Christmas.  He looked me right in the eyes and said, “attaboy!”

All in all, it was a great experience.  Ringing that bell did more for me than anyone else, I think.  I know I will do it again.

It was strange to see the kindness in people’s eyes as the dropped that money in the red kettle.  Knowing that this year of all years, that Christmas would be a little tighter.  If you ever miss seeing the Spirit of Christmas, call your Salvation Army and Volunteer for an hour or two.  You will see more love and random acts of kindness than you will be able to stand.

—Ryan

I know it’s been a while.  A long while since I have posted on Meet The McKinneys.  There really has been a lot going on and I probably have several good excuses, but I won’t use any of them.  I’m sorry.

Now that it is out of the way I feel better.  Don’t you?

Good.

Bringing you up to speed with what has happened in the last 6 months would be very difficult to press into one blog post and the better part of 4 hours.  So, I’ll give you the brief of it… bullet points.  I love bullet points.

• Mom moved up here to Augusta
• The Banking Industry went into the toilet
• We started a business called “Charging Rhino” to see if we could do it
• We went on vacation to St. Thomas
• We saw Carlos Mencia at the Fox Theater in Atlanta for Amber and April’s Birthday
• We hosted mom’s Birthday dinner at her favorite restaurant… Olive Garden
• The entire Family was in town for Gabby’s Birthday
• I saw friends that I haven’t seen in five years
• I’ve taken up mountain biking
• I became semi-fluent in Spanish (I can order more than beer and find more places than el bano
• I learned enough French to understand why America hates French people and vice versa
• We hosted Gabby’s Grampa Michael for a couple of weeks
• We visited Savannah and blended in well with the tourists
• I learned that you don’t have to always be doing something
• I became exposed to what it means to have a 4 Hour Work Week and found a new favorite author
• We’ve gone pumpkin hunting
• Gabby has been to 6 or 7 Gymnastics classes and has participate in at least one
• I broke down and got a Crackberry… and I love it!
• Mom found a job and seems to really like some of the people
• Gabriel has headed for he beach (and probably won’t ever come home…we miss you Gabe!)
• I learned what “wordpress” is and how to use it
• I have consulted on several websites
• I have run a podcast and successfully drove traffic on the web
• Found my self educating and inspiring others to be better people
• and many other things that I may come back and update.

Thanks for your patience.  I have the bug again.  I’m back.

Ryan McKinney

This morning began like many other Saturdays. No coffee, no milk, and nothing to eat in the house. After a the hustling and bustling of a busy, character building week, the last thing you want is to wake up without coffee. For some reason I find delight in not preparing for my favorite time of the week, Saturday mornings. That explains why I found myself zipping over to the nearest grocery store that carries good coffee.
The Food Lion grocery store has forever been higher priced than the other national grocery stores, but modest in price next to the specialty stores. They have never been accused of building their clientele based on their customer service skills. They seem to harvest their customers out of convenience and necessity, not good will to fellow man.
None the less, I hop out of my Cherokee, put my shades up on the top of my head and forged ahead on my seemingly endless journey for caffeine. The “Battle Star Galactiga” doors open and close in my wake. I seem to have developed a sixth sense to locate the coffee isle not only with super-human smell, but also with some sort of “Juan Valdez” radar. The prices are about 30% higher than my favorite market, but a quick calculation of the price of fuel and time and then the sad thought that the manager of Food Lion had already done that calculation made it evident that I was being taken advantage of. The price you pay for convenience in the time of necessity is a powerful thing. I grabbed the coffee, some milk, and the house favorite, “Honey Bunches of Oats”. They really are the best cereal ever made. I headed for the understaffed cash register with determination. The cashier rings me up with a smile and I’m sure she must be a new hire because she’s actually pleasant. Something happens though. My Visa Check card won’t go through.
Now, I digress. Years ago I would have been terrified that the person making $5.15 / hour on the other side of the counter would be judging my spending habits and damning me to NSF hell with her eyes. But after several years in banking I know the benefit of having the VISA logo on your card means that you will never be turned away. You might pay an NSF fee at your bank but you will not be turned down. I didn’t think it was prudent given my current state of mind to explain banking to the clerk. I simply asked her to just punch in the numbers on the card for the approval. That being a seemingly foreign concept to her, probably because she was born years after the magnetic strip concept was introduced. She calls the manager over which by now I know the process. I feel like a D.U.I. repeat offender that knows its better to be polite and let them finish than to fight and explain why I know more than they do.
That’s when it happened. The lady, close to forty, which I could tell because she dipped her nose to look through the tops of her glasses that had no bifocal lens in them and were too young in style for her. I thought she was trying to see me better, but I realized my former nightmares of being judged about my financial situation were coming true. She gave me a once over. Damn it.
She looked at the logos on my clothing and the Gold on my card and decided it was worth typing it in. Obviously she doesn’t know what the VISA on my card means. Forget the race card that I could easily pull and be gratified by. I won’t mention details. She then approached the situation, not with a this just happens sometimes” or a “it must be the strip or maybe our machine”. No. She met me with a “it’s waiting on you.” and all of the attitude that she could muster.
Then I realized. She has already condemned herself to the existence that makes her the unhappy heap that she is. Finally, It brings me to realize two things. First, not being like her is priority and I smile and thank her for her help. Second, I can actually think about things and function without my first cup of Joe. Either that or I’m a little more sensitive without it!

As cliche’ as the questions is, it was asked of me in my reading. Right now, I have the pleasure of reading John C. Maxwell’s book The 21 Most Powerful Minutes in a Leader’s Day. Day by day it asks provoking questions 5 days a week. Today, I am on Day 1 Week 3. It explains that a leader needs 3 things to prepare them:

1. Time to Mature
2. Trials to Strengthen
3. God to Bless

As the thought of the day: “It’s not the dream of a lifetime; It’s the dream that takes a lifetime”, resonates in my mind, I think of what my dream is. The last question of the day asks, “Are you willing to pay the price to accomplish your dream?

For many people influence me and many people I influence in my life, most of them see something in me that for a long time I couldn’t see in myself. That’s because it takes time to mature. The trials that have strengthened me, (although mostly self-induced) had not taken place or had not run their course. I think life will continue to challenge us. The first time I read through those three things I thought I could do nothing about the 3rd and therefore I had no control over my dreams(regardless of whether or not I know what they are). However, the last few times I read through them I realized, that God wants to bless me. Because of the things I have done to myself, I have distanced myself from him. By resetting my moral compass to align with his, I can by blessed by God’s grace and that will in turn influence the trials and the time it takes to mature. They all work hand in hand.

That leaves one question. I warn you… it’s a biggie. WHAT IS MY DREAM? My priorities are somewhat inline. For what? I don’t know, exactly. Therefore, I must determine what my dream is and then let nothing stand in my way. Not even myself.

In the last few weeks, something interrupted my flow. Not sure what the heck was going on. I found myself wondering how I would continue doing my job well enough to satisfy me. I was feeling pretty empty and no gas stations in sight.

There has been a lot going on. The mortgage industry has flipped upside down. My goals at work changed. People I worked with suddenly moved on. Some temporarily. Some, not so temporarily. I decided to change how I do my Bible study. If that wasn’t enough, I decided to speak my mind about the changes at work to my boss.

With what I do, lending is only a part of my role. A big part. To give you an idea how this industry can be awesome and within the same five minutes be so awful, I ‘ll have to share a few thoughts.

All of the clients that had applications in with me wanted to jump ship because mortgage rates fell through the floor. With good conscience, I let them go. I have always said, “if it’s better, it’s better.” Usually the relationship I create with people is enough to keep my loan “better” than the next guys, but let’s face it. Would you do a loan with your mother if someone would offer you 2% lower for the same term? Right. I know. I’d let you jump ship too. The good side of that is that when your loan pipeline falls through because of rates, you will attract some new clients. Your goals suffer (along with your paycheck), but life does go on.

Now take into account that my goals for the type of loans changed directions completely. My major focus now is on Small Business and Commercial lending. Going from consumer lending to commercial is like shopping for panty hose at Auto Zone. I have to admit. I am as green as Kermit the Frog’s little….well, finger.

As far as people go that I work with, we are all still getting used to a new Regional Bank Director and a new Sales Leader. They are both new to their positions and care a great deal about winning. That’s the good news. You know that old saying about old dogs and new tricks. It’s tough for people like myself to break from what we know works to try something. Even if it may work better the new way. We still try to get by for a while by fetching the ball they way we always have. It wasn’t working.

Finally, I changed my reading of the good book to night time reading instead of the morning. I did it to make more time in the morning to help with an ever “no-ing” two-year-old in the mornings. I know it sounds small, but when you have relied on that each morning for the last 7 years and it changes, it’s big.

I’d love to tell you that I did some massive sit down and figured it all out. The truth is this. It fell together at the blessing of the Lord. That’s the truth. It was simple (as it usually is). I laid it down and let him pick it up. As soon as I found a new dedication to seek him, my life feels like it is flowing in the right direction again. I know there is give and take in life. I’ve done a lot of taking and a fair share of giving. I have learned one thing from this last few weeks. Some times….You just have to go with it. Sure, salmon swim upstream and make it, but within just a day or two, they die.

Yep. Rolling with the tide feels right. I guess now it just depends on which tied you follow. As for me I will be a fisher of men.

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve seen a lot more of this on my clock in my car than usual. We have a new strategy at work this year and I’m trying to make the most of it. It seems to be going well, but I’m having to work a little later just to make sure I’m getting everything right. The good thing is that I’m enjoying the type of change. I believe it will pay off, but because it is a lot more relationship building it will take a little longer to reap any fruit. I still am enjoying it. There have been a few growing pains. I have ruffled a few feathers, but the experience I do have tells me that means I’m doing something right. When the big boys get upset…you must be a threat. If you are a threat to the big boys…you are doing something right. The Lord is truly blessing me and I look at that like sunshine on a Sunday morning.

Up close and personal with Gabby! She is talking more often and more clearly. From telling Butler to “get in the house!” to telling me her chair is “too heavy” to pick up. The more she listens and learns, the more she spits out.

Potty training is going pretty well. We had a little bump in the road after a 4 day straight “no accident zone” we had a couple of accidents. We got worried because she claimed it hurt when she went. Some of that is probably true. Some of it is probably the best acting I have ever seen. What ever it is. She is doing pretty darn good. As you can see, the camera loves her and I think its a mutual relationship.

With all of the hoopla about conserving energy and reducing waste. I thought it would be a good idea to do a little conserving myself.
What I found out was, over the coarse of a week, I produce alot of trash! Not only that, but I have been throwing away things and buying things that have tons of extra packaging.
Deciding to send a strong message to the marketplace Benjamin Franklin style, I was going to boycott the extra packaging products and spend more time and money on products that have less packaging. I hate to turn my back on my marketing brethren, but the 4th P of the 4 P’s of Marketing is Placement. Otherwise known as Distribution. This is where the marketing guru’s get us. They know for a proven fact, that we like shiny, colorful things. We flock to them. After some time and careful consideration, I decided that instead of trying to plug the dam with my finger, that I’d just hold on like the rest of the world and embrace our self-impending doom.